I’ve Migrated!

Hey People! I’ve migrated my blog permanently to :

http://blog.hardikr.com

There’s a lot more content there, feel free to browse around. This blog will remain an archive for all my old articles, which I will not be importing to my new blog.

Thanks for Reading,
Hardik

The Ethics of Commenting on Websites

Years of being exposed to bad comments has compelled me to pen this down.  As much as I am ashamed and embarassed to admit it, most of such comments are made by Indians. There, I said it.

Here’s a sample, on a blog post which had resources for learning Python :

“Hi I am very glad to see this website.
Actually I am very interested in this field.
So please send me some tricks of the computer.
Thanking You.”

I won’t go into why this comment shows the comment author is too lazy, incapable and dumb to understand anything related to computers – it just portrays a very very bad image of himself and India too. Here’s another one, on a blog post about education in Sweden.

Hi all,
please mail me List of consultancies in INDIA dealing with MBA courses in Sweden.
in fact my qualification is B.tech n i’m havinf 3 years of work ex in IT industry in development and testing……….
so please inform me about major courses available in MBA in my area?
what about the standard of education ? Is there any consultancies in Delhi of India? Please reply me as as quick as possible. your information will be very much useful for me.
My email is m************1@gmail.com
thanking you.

I could go on and on, and the web is filled with at least a million such samples. Anyway, that’s not what this post is about.

Ladies and gentlemen, The Code of Ethics for Commenting on Websites/Blogs.

1. Never leave your e-mail ID in the comment field. Most blogs have a separate field for the same purpose. Use it.

2. Don’t comment if you don’t have anything constructive to say to the author. Spare your rants for your own blog.

3. Try to be as grammatically correct as possible. Use complete and coherent sentences. If English is not your native language, work on improving your English.

4. Spare the profanity! Even if you’re the author’s best-bud from college, you don’t need to indulge in name-calling. Additionally, you may get sued.

5. Follow the comment policy of the blog. If you do, there’s a good chance you’ll get a reply from the author. If there’s no comment policy, observe the pattern of how the author responds to comments. Try obtaining cues from the comments he responded to..

6. If the author responds to your comment, it DOES NOT give you the license to hunt him down on Facebook and add him as a friend. Though you’re always welcome to follow him.

7. If the author is a celeb, spare the ‘fan-boy’ comment. It’s not the time or the place. There are other channels suited for the same purpose.

8. Never EVER ask the author to do any chores for you – eg:  e-mail you (unless you happen to know him really well). There’s a good chance he will not bother.

9. Preview your comment before you hit ‘Submit!’.

10. There is a secret to make your comment come across as insightful and wise, even if you don’t know squat about what is being talked about. Find that secret and use it wisely. ( Hint: Using sesquipedalian words is not the answer.)

11. Don’t Troll. Don’t Spam. Both are equally bad.

12. Don’t shamelessly self-promote your website/blog/product/service. Instead use the comment to build a relationship with the author.

Note: The Code is a work in progress, and will surely undergo revisions. The latest version can always be found here.

Kotak Mahindra Bank is not a Bank.

It pains me greatly to see that India, a nation known for centuries for it’s hospitality, is one of the places in the world you can expect ZERO customer service (with a few needle-in-the-haystack exceptions) and zero-flexibility on so-called company policy. I won’t get all philosophical here, but you catch my drift.

About a month-and-a-half ago, I went to Kotak Mahindra Bank for opening a new bank account. I carried my passport, my driving license, a rent agreement and and a letter of employment from my employer – and apparently all this was insufficient to create a bank account. Why ? Because I need to provide them with a cheque from my previous bank account.

But wait, I don’t have a previous bank account! This is my first bank account. So I tried to explore a few alternatives:

1. Is this absolutely necessary?
Bank: Yes. We’ve been defrauded in the past by people investing huge amounts in our bank.

2. (Doesn’t make sense but,) OK, but I just want to put in 10k that’s it and you have all my original documents.
Bank: OK, let me look into it, I’ll send someone to meet you in the evening.

3. OK, but if I already have an active bank account why would I come to you?
Bank: (silence… #Fail)

I say “Fine” and I’m gone.

Four Days Later

No contact from Kotak Mahindra Bank whatsoever. I go back there.

4. So , what’s up ?
Bank: Oh yes, it’s not possible.

5. I thought you were going to send someone. And why’s it not possible?
Bank: Oh sorry Sir, I forgot. It’s not possible because it’s company policy.

6. OK. So will a cheque from my father’s account be good enough ?I can provide ample proof that he’s my father.
Bank: OK let me check and get back.

Two Days Later

Nothing. I go back to the bank.

7. So, what’s up?
Bank: Oh yes. It’s not possible. I’m sorry.

8. So why didn’t you tell me on the phone ?
Bank: I’m sorry.

9. Let me get this straight. I’m trying to put money in your bank and you’re not letting me?
Bank: No.

10. And you call yourself a bank?
Weird and Useless Institution : (Silence)

Verdict:
Kotak Mahindra Bank is not a Bank.

Indian Banks are as useless as rocks – along with that, they’re just huge blood-sucking creatures looking for a way to make your life more miserable. I suggest that they get their basics right first.

I cannot open a bank account with the documentation that allows me to :

- Visit any country in the world with a visa (and even around 60 countries without one).
- Vote in state and national elections.
- Countless other things you and me do every single day.

This is a big big failure, not just in customer service, but in just being a bank.

You’re not a bank if you don’t let me open a bank account.

Tags: Bank account, Banking Services, Banks and Institutions, business, Cheque, Financial Services, India, Kotak Mahindra Bank

Punjab – First Impressions

I was tempted to write this post a long time back, but I thought every place should get enough time to prove it’s worth. It’s been almost 45 days since I’ve been here (if you’re wondering what I’m doing here, click here).

1. The town where I stay – Zirakpur – has absolutely no footpaths. Whenever I step out on the road, it’s like I’m signing a pact with the devil. Why? Read on…

2. Vehicle drivers have no sense of respect for pedestrians- they drive in the wrong direction on one-ways, they overtake on narrow roads- which already has no footpath. Hmmm..

Image via Wikipedia

3. Punjabis love their food! Two (and true) stories to illustrate:
- A dude ditched an awesome job in Bangalore because he was told the Punjabi food there was no good.
- Another dude with his family in Bangalore, after looking around for the whole day for a Punjabi restaurant, finally found one. After they got there, they did a quick Bhangra in the restaurant to celebrate.

4. Over 90% of the thousands of Punjabi songs I’ve heard are in the same scale, have the same beat and are indistinguishable apart from the lyrics. There really is great scope for variety in the Punjabi music scene.

5. All shops close down by 10 p.m. After that, if you’re hungry, thirsty or just need to have a chocolate, hard luck.

Image by penguincakes via Flickr

6. There is rampant violation of M.R.P in shops – right from restaurants, retail stores and even malls. It seems  everyone’s looking to make a quick buck (who isn’t?).

7. Everything that you’ve heard about the Samosas in Punjab is true! They are way more delicious than those you have  anywhere else ! You really gotta have the samosas here ! Same goes with the rest of Punjabi food – Chole Bhature, and delicious Paneer dishes and Naan !

8. Punjabis are very very courteous to strangers. It’s very unlikely someone will snub you if you’re new in town, and they’re ever ready to help you out !

9. Almost every little shop I’ve been to has two things in common – One, they have a small 5″ television, and two, it’s perennially playing the channel ‘Punjabi Hits’. They really do enjoy their music!

10. Punjabis love their booze, and the number of liquor-stores are proof. I’ve been told more than once that rich Punjabi businessmen regularly spend over thousands daily to buy imported liquor.

11. If you go to a dhaba, the staff will regularly replace your un-eater roti/naan with a freshly cooked steaming hot roti/naan.

Verdict: It’s just about OK. Not really my style of a place to live, and I certainly prefer a metro !

Why Maruti Suzuki needs a new Ad-Agency

If you haven’t seen the new advertisement campaign by Maruti Suzuki around their A-Star brand of vehicles, you’re missing out. At first glance, it can seem revolutionary even, but look again, and it’s exactly what we like to call #FAIL.

I’ll describe the advertisement for the sake of completeness (if you’ve already seen it, skip below to the analysis section).

Ad Description

There’s a man (let’s call him Mohan)  being interviewed by a panel of 5-6 people who look like big shots, while the man himself looks like an average middle class guy. Now the interview panel is firing questions at the man, to each of which Mohan replies ‘I don’t know’. The second or third question heard is, (yes, I will be paraphrasing)

Interviewer 1 : What is data abstraction ?
Mohan : I don’t know.

Interviewer 1 throws down a file on the table.

Mohan : Sir, was the purpose of this interview, to see what I know, or see what I don’t know ?

Interviewers are taken aback.

Interviewer 1 : “Tell us what you know”

Mohan stands and starts delivering a confident-man-esque speech , which is drowned by the music and a voice saying something about how this is a true story of a man (who owns an A-Star) who has self belief.

Analysis

(I have three main complaints, with just a little bit of common sense)

1. I’m assuming that the job Mohan was applying for, had something to do with computer science / IT , since he was asked about data abstraction. Now, in my opinion, someone who doesn’t know what data abstraction is, is seriously not fit for applying for an IT position. It’s like applying for a barber’s position without having used a pair of scissors before.
Verdict : #FAIL

2. Let’s take another look at Mohan’s query in the end,

“Sir, was the purpose of this interview, to see what I know, or what I don’t know ?”

Ummm, Mohan, the purpose of any interview is to see what a candidate knows. Now, is it the interviewers’ fault that you didn’t end up knowing anything? If you had answered those questions, wouldn’t you know? How were the interviewers supposed to know that you didn’t know anything? Dumbass.
Verdict : #FAIL

3. Let’s try deciphering what exactly the advertisement has to do with A-Star. Am I supposed to believe that

a) Mohan was so unprepared for his interview because he was busy driving around in an A-Star instead of studying?
b) Mohan delivered that (supposedly) killer query at the end because at the back of his mind he was assured that his A-Star would have his back, no matter what ?
c) Only people with A-Stars are this dumb.
d) A-Star is a car that can make you say such things in an interview, only at the mercy of how dumb your interviewers are ?
Verdict : #FAIL

Conclusion

I fail to understand the point of this advertisement. The man certainly did seem to have self-belief, but what is self-belief without knowledge ? It really shows the abysmal state of advertising in India. People sometimes try to be too creative/preachy/inspiring without thinking first. People, NEWS FLASH, common-sense comes first, only then comes all the flashy stuff.

Let me say it again, clear for everyone to see.

Common-Sense comes first. And for that, you have to THINK.

I rest my case.

–

PS : Critique of the above critique very much welcome in the comments.
PS 2 : The advice in the above post is very much my own, and not of any terrorist organizations or militants in IOK/POK. I have nothing against Maruti Suzuki and only offer free help to improve their crappy ads. You can thank me by posting a comment below.

Tags: India, Maruti Suzuki, Suzuki

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Remove Duplicate Items from Google Reader

Unlike it’s other siblings, Reader is not a smart product. It often recommends sources that I am already subscribed to. Also, there are hoards of duplicate items appearing everywhere – leading to one very irritating reading session. And I’m not about to let my reading get spoiled by Reader.

Swoop in Mr. Elad Ossadon. He’s developed a Greasemonkey script ( Chrome users, fret not, there’s an extension for you too), and it conveniently removes all duplicates appearing in Reader, without affecting the performance of Reader in any way conceivable to the average human. It works flawlessly as of now, but do take a backup of your subscriptions from the Settings page, considering the author advises so.

Find the script here :

Thanks again, Mr. Ossadon. His personal blog can be found here.

Happy Reading!